The Diagnosis

I saw a doctor about my cold/allergies yesterday.  The prognosis: severe pollen allergies combined with a sinus infection, which has caused my lungs to be filled to the brim with snot.  I did a breath test and my lung capacity was 6 liters.  Dr. Buck was wowed by this number, saying it was very good.  I could barely believe the terrible result.  He was confused when I started shaking my head.  “I don’t think you understand,” I said.  I did this test last year (also when I was sick) and my lung capacity was 7.5 liters.  That means there’s like 1.5 liters of snot in my chest!  I began thinking of ways to get it out.  Hanging upside down on a pullup bar came to mind.

The worst numbers weren’t my lung capacity, but the time it took for me to empty my lungs.  Because all the sacks in my lungs are being constricted, I was in the 65th perecental for this part of the test.  Dr. Buck prescribed me a plethora of drugs antibiotics and inhalers to get over the sinus infection and to deal with the allergies.  I am feeling better already and hope to be better by next week.  I hope this is the last time I have to say that.

It’s a bank robber.  It’s the Avian Bird Flue.  It’s a horse with a feed bag.  No.  It’s kennett the trend setter.

If I had it my way I would pave over all the grass and plants so there’d be no more pollen.  Plus there wouldn’t be forests to catch on fire and cause all this damn smoke!!

You can be as cool as kennett for a low low price of $2.99.  Theses surgical masks can be purchased at Albertsons for a limited time.  Get yours now while supplies last.


6 thoughts on “The Diagnosis

  1. Get a mask with two straps. The ones with one strap don’t have any standards for the sealing on the sides… but the ones with two straps do.

    I hope you feel better, man.

  2. I am feeling less congested every day. But I can barely wait to be fully recovered. I haven’t felt good since Rehearsal RR! Kennett ANGRY.

    Ivar, thanks for the tip.

    That reminds me of a good joke: What did the leper say to the prostitute? Answer: “Keep the tip.”

  3. I feel your pain. I’m having a lot of success in treating my allergies with the help of a Naturopath at NCNM in Portland, without any strange chemical concoctions. One of the best tips I have gotten: use a Neti Pot to do nasal irrigation…if you aren’t too congested. It is pretty much what it sounds like: pour saline up one nostril and it comes out the other. Search YouTube for vidoes about how to do it. I do it in the morning and before bed, and immediately following any workouts. This is the single best thing I have found for treating my allergies. I also find that sleeping with a true-HEPA air purifier in my bedroom helps a lot. Good luck!

  4. Wow kennett. I wish I could be as cool as you. Too bad it costs so much.

    Anyway, glad you got to the bottom of your dillemmas. Hopefully you’ll get completely better soon!

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