The Diagnosis

I saw a doctor about my cold/allergies yesterday.  The prognosis: severe pollen allergies combined with a sinus infection, which has caused my lungs to be filled to the brim with snot.  I did a breath test and my lung capacity was 6 liters.  Dr. Buck was wowed by this number, saying it was very good.  I could barely believe the terrible result.  He was confused when I started shaking my head.  “I don’t think you understand,” I said.  I did this test last year (also when I was sick) and my lung capacity was 7.5 liters.  That means there’s like 1.5 liters of snot in my chest!  I began thinking of ways to get it out.  Hanging upside down on a pullup bar came to mind.

The worst numbers weren’t my lung capacity, but the time it took for me to empty my lungs.  Because all the sacks in my lungs are being constricted, I was in the 65th perecental for this part of the test.  Dr. Buck prescribed me a plethora of drugs antibiotics and inhalers to get over the sinus infection and to deal with the allergies.  I am feeling better already and hope to be better by next week.  I hope this is the last time I have to say that.

It’s a bank robber.  It’s the Avian Bird Flue.  It’s a horse with a feed bag.  No.  It’s kennett the trend setter.

If I had it my way I would pave over all the grass and plants so there’d be no more pollen.  Plus there wouldn’t be forests to catch on fire and cause all this damn smoke!!

You can be as cool as kennett for a low low price of $2.99.  Theses surgical masks can be purchased at Albertsons for a limited time.  Get yours now while supplies last.