Day: August 5, 2009

Due to a long list of rider and team manager misdemeanors during the 2009 Cascade Cycling Classic, USA Cycling is providing seminars for the cycling public to attend. The monetary fines during the Cascade Classic will fund these highly anticipated seminars, which are intended to enlighten bike racers so that the same errors are not made in future races.

This is a list of the fines issued during the 2009 Cascade Cycling Classic:

Littering/illegal tossing of bottles and bidens: $520 total
Illegal drafting off of vehicles: $945 total
Forgetting to sign in before the race: $180 total
Non-regulatory supply of refreshments*: $205 total
Failure to attend podium ceremony and collect cash prize: $70 total
Other: $485

Total: $2,405

*We here at USAC are still unsure what this means, but you guys did it and we’re fining you anyways.

As you can see, a total of $2,405 was fined over the course of five days.  The last day of racing was not included for some reason.  We are not sure why.  But, this money is going straight to the USAC outreach to Becoming a Better NRC Racer and Better Human Being Seminars. All of it. Every cent. We promise. Depending on your infringement and or area of least comprehension, please choose from the following list of seminars:

-How to not litter and or not toss bottles illegally.

-How to not draft a moving car or truck while racing.

-How to properly sign in before a race, with an intro on how to remember to sign in before a race.

-How to supply refreshments illegally without getting caught. (Warning, if you attend this seminar you will be fined $70).

-How to attend an award ceremony in which you will be awarded a good sum of money.

-How to ‘Other’.

Check this website for more details on when and where to attend these invaluable seminars.

www.usacseminarsforbadcyclists.org

Failure to attend these seminars will result in a $35 fine and a 20 second time penalty.

I’ve still been hacking up stuff on rides and feeling pretty tired, but I think there is a good chance I’ll be better by Friday. In fact, I’m going to race anyways. That aught to scare my virus away. I heard there was something going around the peleton during Cascade. That must be what I caught, and like most colds, it’s lasting longer than I thought it would. I’m probably one of the only Oregonian’s with a

It seems like I always come up with good topics to write about or funny jokes throughout the day, but by the time I do get around to writing, they’ve disappeared. Such is the case right now.

I went sailing with my brother the other day in our small wooden sailboat. Last summer my dad and Galen took it out and it almost sunk in the first 10 minutes. My dad patched it up since then and now it only leaks a little. We always take it to Henry Harrison Hagg Lake, and ever since I started bike racing out there my pulse quickens every time the dam comes into view.

It was a hot day, good for swimming but bad for sailing since the wind was weak. We got out there and took turns jumping off the boat while the other sailed around and attempted to run over the person in the water. Unfortunately, like I said, the wind wasn’t very strong so the boat on swimmer contact wasn’t enough to do any damage and the swimmer could easily just grab onto the front of the boat and climb aboard.

We spent a little while trying to ram our dad in his kayak, but he was more maneuverable than us and the only way we could get him was by jumping from the front of the sailboat onto the back of his kayak. When doing this, it is important to use the proper language and the proper English accent: “By order of the Queen’s Royal Navy, we are commandeering this vessel for God and country!” Don’t be surprised if you hear my give this a try next time I’m chasing down a breakaway.

Later on in the day, some people on the dock thought my brother and I were in trouble, drowning or something. We had been taking turns towing each other with some rope, making lots of noise, then I had jumped off the boat so there was no one steering. It started going in tight circles and Galen got on board to take the ruder. I got back on too, we made a close pass to the dock, and about 300m later I jumped off. Galen kept on going for 15 minutes before coming back for me, and that’s when the lake rescue guy showed up. We never saw him though, because he must have assumed we were fine.