Today I’ve killed four flies. I was going to say five, since that sounds much better, but it would be untrue. The last fly is still buzzing around the cabin and I can’t find it. My weapon of choice has been a pillow, which I use to smash the flies between the window and the window shade. I learned this strategy the long way. After stalking the flies around the cabin, listening for the sound of buzzing, I realized that this method was slow and unproductive. And I also learned that most of the flies were already trapped between the windows and window shades. In fact, I don’t think I was stalking the flies at all, I was just walking back and forth from window to window when each concealed fly would buzz behind its window shade. Now, you can’t really see the flies when they’re hidden like this. But on occasion, you’ll catch a glimpse of their shadow. That’s when you have to pounce. At this point you have two options: A) slam the pillow against the window shade in the area you think the fly is located and hope that it doesn’t escape, or B) wait until you see the fly’s shadow and quickly press the pillow against the window shade. This second technique is the preferred of the two because it is less risky. The chance of the window shade opening up and allowing the fly to escape is lower, rendering the slow smash technique more effective.
Observe this writer’s killcount to date:
Note, one more fly was procured during the writing of this blog entry.
What else have I been doing? Yesterday I rode for about 5 hours, but unfortunately my ride time is being cut short over the next seven days in order to taper for Cascade next Wednesday. Other things I have been doing include but have not been limited to:
-Reading a David Sedaris book
-Watching the Tour upwards of 3 times a day
-Trying to decide the order in which I will watch the following VHS tapes here in the cabin: Hook, Forest Gump, Mrs. Doubtfire, Throw Momma from the Train, Thelma & Louise, Street Smart, Hope Floats, The Best of The Benny Hill Show, While you were Sleeping, Home Alone 2, Batman Forever, and When Harry Met Sally. I have seen five of these movies before, and judging by the covers of the others, I would rather see those five again than watch something like Hope Floats or While you were Sleeping. I spend a good amount of time standing at the movie/bookcase, trying to build up the courage to bore myself to death with one of these slumber-fests. So far I haven’t. But I’m guessing the day will come. Back to the list—
-Searching for a pair of fingernail clippers or scissors to cut my finger nails. Unsuccessful so far.
-Eating food (which is limited to Quinoa, oats, bread, eggs, or a plate of aging vegetables. I won’t include pasta in this food list because I officially hate pasta unless it has a ton of meat or cheese in it.
-Checking email and Facebook
that’s about it.
But mainly I just sit on the couch drinking water out of a Tupperware container because I don’t like drinking out of small glasses that have to be refilled after each sip.
Oh, I also have a potato that needs to be cooked. I’m planning a special breakfast one of these mornings where I’ll substitute the potato for the oats. As I’m sure you know, potatoes have a lot of potassium. And nothing spells excitemmint better than potassium!