Hey, if anybody needs a ride up to Silverton tomorrow, I have plenty of room in my car that I own. So give me a call if you need a ride because the tank is full and the bike racks are plentiful–oh, sorry I made a mistake!! I get confused sometimes. Silly me. What I meant to say was that I don’t have a car and that I need a ride to the race tomorrow. Thanks,
ps Zack, just because I always beg for rides to races doesn’t mean I like cars. In our society, unfortunately, they’ve just become necessary for certain activities. And no. I’m not going to stop doing everything that requires a car just to prove that I’m not a hypocrite. That would mean the man won. I won’t have it. I much prefer to complain about things even though I’m dependent on them. And give other people a hard time for owning certain things that I complain about/use time to time to get to races. Because if everyone didn’t drive cars, smoke cigaretes, drive drunk, shop at Walmart, import cheap bananas from the third world, then there would be nothing valid for us to complain about. We’d have to resort to complaining about things that are good. Can you imagine it?
“Man, I really hate living in a clean environment with good schools and drinking water that doesn’t come from a sewage treatment plan. This really sucks.”
“Doesn’t it just piss you off that there aren’t starving people in Africa? And NO AIDS? WTF?! Who are we supposed to feel sorry for, but deep down not really give a shit about?”
“You know what I don’t understand? Is why we send convicted felons into pristine, safe prisons and give them all the support, rehabilitation, and education they need to succeed in life. Can’t we go back to the good ‘ol days
of shower rapping’s and brutal, power-hungry prison guard beat-downs? Those maniacs should have to suffer for the crimes they committed. They shouldn’t be rewarded with college degrees!”
“Can you believe the government wasted more of our hard-earned tax dollars to invent a machine that controls the weather to give us 75 degree sunny days 365 days a year and yet somehow doesn’t hurt any ecosystems? I LIKE it when it’s 38 degrees and raining all fall, winter, and spring long!”
With everything so perfect, people wouldn’t even know how to vent their anger properly:
“If I see one more god damn gravel-free bike lane I’m gonna go plant a tree!!! AGHHHHH!!!”
The world simply could not function like this, Zack. People would eventually go insane and gnaw their fingers off, then no one would be able to blog and the solar system would collapse on itself.
PPS I washed my cycling clothes so I won’t stink up the car.