The new frame has cometh.
After many miles of pacing back and forth in anguished anticipation. After countless hours spent lying awake at night in sheer excitement. After spilling the blood of hundreds of sacrificial squirrels to pay homage to the bike gods to ensure that it would arrive safely. After three days of building it at life cycle bike shop…it’s finished. The new and improved Kona KING ZING. Let me say that one more time: KING zing. No more little Zing Supreme. This bike has no Taco Bell burrito connotations. This bike is lean, mean and ready to sting with its zing.
Yes it may have components from my first bike, the Trek 2200 that I got in 2006. And yes it may be the same frame that I had before except with a different name and in a different color, and yes it still creaks and groans like an old sailor’s elbow, but this speedy 19.5 pounder is ready to CRUSH, GRIND, and SMASH anything that gets in its path. The creaking is actually its way of speaking to me. It squeaks out, “Keeeeennett. Cruuuuush. Griiiiiind. Smaaaaaash,” as I pedal. Well King Zing, your wish is my command.
Oh, Kona Zing
You’re so god damn bling
Your shiny black clear coat
Makes me billow like a billy goat
Your curves and your lines
Give me reason to sing rhymes
Your bottom bracket may still creak
But I’d ride that any day of the week
Riding you all day and night
Would give me great delight
Sweating with you for hours on roads that’ev been tarred
Makes my legs all veiny and hard
So until tomorrow I’ll be thinking of thee
Of you, groaning beneath me.