Gila Stage Four 2013

I’m on a roll here, pumping out these excellent race reports each day within minutes of the finish. I’ll keep this up at least one last time tonight, as tomorrow evening I might be too cracked and/or drunk to write. It’s Cinco de Mayo tomorrow and I plan on celebrating hard, assuming I win the race of course. If I don’t then I’ll eat a small bowl of iceberg lettuce and hop on the trainer for 4-6 hours in the basement and stair at a mirror, never blinking or breaking eye contact with myself. That’s the only way to properly build mental fortitude.

It was warm this afternoon, which was a pleasant change from yesterday’s unwelcoming frigidity. It was so hot, in fact, that someone must have had a minor heat stroke and lost their luggage near the start line in their desperate search for water and medical attention. Poor bloke. Just a few minutes before we took off, a government satellite spotted the abandoned bag and someone pressed the Red Button. Homeland Security dropped down upon Main St. from a flock of black, stealth helicopters. An abandoned suitcase? No. More like a terrorist BOMB! The race was delayed by half an hour as 172 highly trained bomb sniffing dogs consulted on the matter. Their concentration was broken for several minutes when a poorly thrown Frisbee accidentally sailed past, resulting in a mad chase and one completely mauled Frisbee. Authorities deny the incident and the Frisbee’s owner will not being reimbursed.

The race started, I attacked and got away for the first three laps but was brought back when cooperation among the break disintegrated. I wasn’t too bummed since I’d planned on conserving for tomorrow. After that I pretty much just sat in and stayed out of the dusty wind. 90 minutes later the race ended and I crossed the line somewhere mid-pack, not having felt like I’d just finished an NRC crit, which is a good thing. I’m excited for tomorrow–especially for a post-Gila Monster Blizzard.

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