Weeeeeeeeell,
I dun cut my han’ on a oyster can
the blood’s spewin’ on my feet and in the pan
but I don’t really care cause I’m chewin’ a hunk a ham
my brain ain’t smart cause I been sniffen lot’s a glue
and I may be dumbmer than an ol’ worn out shoe
I can’t think real hard cause my head ain’t big
but that’s OK cause I know the hill billy jig.
The dog’s barkin’ up an oak without a squirrel in sight
the rain’s pourin’ down an’ his eyes is squinted tight
them squirrels is a laughin’ from their holes a mile a way
but Tommy don’t care he’s got a brain made a clay
when he was a pup he was dropped on his lid
that’s when you do the hill billy jig.
My bike’s in the garage drippin’ wet from a ride
the chain’s rustin’ up n’ Joe’s gonna whip my hide
but my bike don’t care cause his headset’s loose
that bike’s dumer still than a dull-witted moose
he aint as fast as a car or as big as a rig
but if there’s one thing he knows it’s how to do the hill billy jig.
I reach for some scotch tape to stop my bleedin’ hand from a squirtin’
if I lose any more hemeglobin I’m gonna be in for a hurtin’
them hills out yonder was feelin’ mighty steep this mornin’
specially the way them rain clouds was a stormin’
it’s dumpin’ out now and it aint never gonna stop
so there’s only one thing to do, it’s called the hill billy hop
ya get a bottle marked with X’s n’ take a sip or two or fity,
if ya can’t count that high your in hilly billy city
keep on a drinkin’ till your face is on the groun’
now you can start the second roun’
staggerin’ around eatin’ a bowl a pea soup
bucklin’ knees, squatin’ like your gonna take a poop
ya put your left foot forward and your right foot back
your eyes is crossed and your vision’s goin’ black
sway just a bit n’ ya reach for the door
now yer drunk outside in the rain like a whore
the rain’s comin’ down really hard n’ thick
but you don’t care cause your a drunken ‘ol hick
ya do the hill billy jig for a wet Thursday afternoooon
ain’t nothin’ better for cure’n a bit a hill billy gloooooom.
KENNETT PETERSON 