Hagens Berman

This weekend was the meet and greet for the 2010 HB elite team.  I got a ride up with Sean on Friday and we stayed at his friend’s house for the next couple nights.  She owns horses and trains them how to slide, spin, and run backwards in competitions.  Here’s a link to what I’m talking about.  Reining.  The room I slept in had stacks and stacks of American Quarter Horse Quarterly.  I think I added in that last Quarterly, but it might have been there.  Anyways, I read a magazine each night before going to sleep.  Basically the entire magazine (all 321 of them) was filled with advertisements for ”Peppy Go Go,”  “Ridin’ N’ Rockin’,” and “Fredy’s Bang Wagon” and other horses with multiple first names that didn’t seem very practical.  Imagine the announcer at the rodeo: “And our next rider, number 317, is Samantha Brighton on Fredy’s Bang Wagon.  Looks like it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…”  All of these horses, for some reason, had bought advertisements for themselves in this magazine to sell off their sperm.  If I went to the sperm bank and gave them some product, I think I get $50.  Not that I’ve done it, but that’s what I’ve heard.  Great, for some reason the computer had decided to underline everything I type.  But back on topic, these horses are selling their semen for $1,500 to $5,000 bucks a pop!  For that price, I’d expect some bang for my buck, hahah pun intended.

As I flipped through the magazines, each page would have a picture of a horse with it’s main blowing in the wind, it’s competition palmeres, how much it had earned in comps over the last year or it’s lifetime, how much it’s offspring had earned, and the price of it’s precious product.  It wasn’t great reading material, but it’s all I could find.  I had strange dreams…

Other than my bizarre nightly readings, the week was packed full of team presentations, dinners, and activities for us to get to know each other.  Adrian Hegyvery (a Hagens rider last year who just signed with the pro Team OUCH) gave a talk one night that I thought was very well thought-out.  To sum it up, it (and the whole weekend in general) made me want to start training harder than ever before.  I began dreaming of 35 hour weeks in Tucson, but quickly put a rein on my bad side and rememberd my new mantra, which I can’t remember right now but it’s something like “don’t be stupid,” which I’ve obviously paid no attention to over the last 20 minutes while writing this.  Yes it’s taken me 20 minutes to come up with this.  Not including time spent on Youtube looking for horse vids.  That last one, in case you didn’t realize it, has an amazing song about a guy who must have eaten a midget hillbilly.  It will surely be suck in my head for days.

I was very impressed with the organization of the team and I’m very exite about making great glory for teams Hagens of the Berman!!  I like!

Hagens Berman elite roster:

Director: Joe Holmes

Sam Johnson

Phil Elasser

Nick Clayville


Lang Reynolds

Sean Passage

Chris Daifuku

Spenser Smitherman

I’ve got a little hillbilly in me, I’ve got a little hillbilly in me, I’ve got a little hillbilly in me–just in case that song wasn’t stuck in your head.

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